Tag Archives: Father

She Does! He Does! They Do!

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I’ve been so busy lately I haven’t been able to post, my best friend just got married this past weekend. I’ve spent my entire life hating the idea of a wedding, not of marriage, but of the actual wedding.I began to reconsider my opinion when one of my very good friends got married. Her wedding was so beautiful and full of love; all of her family, friends and his family were all there for the same reason. To watch this couple profess their love to each other and they all supported it wholeheartedly. Unfortunately, I couldn’t be her bridesmaid when she asked due to personal reasons but I was able to participate in my best friend’s wedding. Let’s not lie, being a bridesmaid is expensive as shit! Shoes, dress, makeup, hair, traveling, etc! When both friends asked me to be their bridesmaid I was so flattered and immediately filled with emotions at this amazing opportunity to be a big part of their weddings. Don’t get me wrong, at this point I was still not a fan.

The day came to drive up to Half Moon Bay, make all of the flower arrangements, bouquets, boutonnieres and decorate the hall for the big special day! It was so much work but our friends and Stephanie’s family came together beautifully to execute the wedding of her dreams. After two days of decorating, finalizing details, and planning it was finally the big day. I woke up in a house full of bridesmaids and the brides family and all I could think when I opened my eyes was “my best friend gets married today”. I became emotional. Fourteen years of friendship, heartaches, stupid boys, personal turmoils, gains, losses….All of it. It all flooded my mind and my heart. My best friend is getting married. She deserves this. She deserves the beautiful dress, the great food, the eighteen bottles of tequila, his eyes gazing into hers oh so lovingly, and a room full of supportive onlookers. After hours of makeup and hair, she was finally ready. I walked into the living room and saw her staring out of the double doors to the balcony. Flawless. My eyes teared up at the sight of her looking so gorgeous and regal in her white dress and her handmade, floor length veil. I didn’t want to smear my amazing makeup so of course I sucked it up.

We called her father upstairs to watch his reaction at the sight of her for the first time in her dress, fully done up. He slowly walked up the stairs and looked over at her as her back was turned to him. He paused. Took her in. In all the years that I’ve known this tall, manly, mustached man…I’ve never seen him so taken aback. Speechless. He slowly walks over to her and she turns around, his eyes widen and he gives her a big hug and a kiss on the lips. He backs away, looks her up and down once, and nods in approval. In an attempt not to cry he backs away and smiles. This….This moment is what made me change my mind about weddings. Not the moment she said “I Do”. Not the drinking. The gifts. The dancing. The way her now husband looked at her as she walked down the aisle. This moment right here. A father who has witnessed his daughter flourish into a beautiful, classy young woman. A woman who has succeeded, accomplished her dreams and who has finally found the love of her life and who has done it all in a way he’s always dreamed she would. This moment was the most emotional for me (besides watching him cry in church). Stephanie’s parents mean the world to her and their approval is what matters most. That one nod, that moment of offering his blessing, that approval. It’s what we all, as daughters, crave and want. I feel if I was in her shoes, that would make the entire experience worth it even more so than seeing my husband slip a ring on my finger and vowing to love me forever.

Bottom line: the entire wedding was beautiful. I loved being a bridesmaid, I haven’t had that much fun in a long long time. Both families came together seamlessly. I’d relive this experience a million times, despite the small things that went wrong, just to watch my best friend fall in love all over again with her husband. To watch the look on her face when she walked back out of the church after her ceremony. To watch this man look into her eyes the way she deserves to be looked at.

Cheers to a badass time…And many more to come!

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Father’s Day

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Father’s Day.

I love love love my pai. We had an extremely rocky upbringing with him, and up until 3 years ago, we didn’t exactly see eye to eye. But I’ve come to realize that he’s my rock and the only man I can trust. He’s been there for me through my recent turmoils, and continues to push me as a parent should. He’s too honest for his own good, he picks up bitches with nothing other than his awesome accent (without meaning to), and he loves me unconditionally (only after he stopped talking to me for 5 years, which is a completely different story). My ultimate test of forgiveness.

Anyway, enough with the sappy bullshit, let’s get down to business.

Father’s Day, as well as Mother’s Day, is every day. This is just a day where we have an excuse to dote on our parents and they don’t have to feel guilty about receiving gifts from us. All I saw this weekend was Facebook post after Facebook post of pictures of fathers who are still around or who have passed. For those who have lost their father, I’m so sorry. I can only imagine how much that must hurt, especially on this day. A reminder that he is no longer around to give that obligatory gift to, to take out to lunch, or to hug and say “I love you pops”. He may have missed walking you down the aisle, first child birth, achieving your master’s degree…Whatever it is. I feel the deepest sympathy for you.

You know who I don’t feel sorry for? Cry baby, pansy bitch, single moms. I’m a single mom. However, I chose to reserve this day for FATHERS only because it is FATHER’S DAY. It isn’t SingleMomDay or MyBabyDaddyAPunkDay or DeadBeatDadDay. F.A.T.H.E.R.S D.A.Y. I cannot tell you how many women posted “HAPPY FATHER’S DAY TO ME”. Listen bitch, you don’t get two holidays. EQUAL RIGHTS! I almost wanted to comment “whoa whoa I didn’t know you grew a penis!”. I get it. Your baby daddy is a pot smoking, slut screwing, prison happy, meth selling asshole. Guess what? SO IS MINE! Well, two out of four anyway. However, I refuse to teach my child how to be petty and hateful. I will not teach her how to focus on the past, dwell on the negative or to keep hate in her heart. You hate your ex? Hey so do I! You’ve been raising your child/children on your own? I applaud you, so am I! But look at how stupid you look posting “HAPPY FATHER’S DAY TO ALL THE MOMS OUT THERE WHO ARE DOING IT ALONE”, and tagging all of your friends who have dead beat baby daddies. Also, the “Happy Father’s Day to the REAL men who take care of their children, who step up to the plate!” crack me uuuuuup! Please shut up. Just because a father is “present” doesn’t make him a good parent. Let’s not assume that all of the men who decided to spend that particular day with their children, spend any time with their children outside of that.

You look weak.

Maybe I’m the only one who was bothered by this. As a single mom, I take pride in what I do, but I don’t sit there and blab on about how my child will turn out to be amazing because of me, myself and I. How I’m broke because, you know, it’s just me, myself and I. I get it. Why not be an independent woman and just do it ? Shut up. Quit the griping. Teach your child how to forgive, but never to forget. If you didn’t need him anyway, why is it such a big deal that he’s not around? Don’t give me the “well I’m upset for my child” bullshit. Your child will be upset about it when the time is right and they WILL get over it when the time is right. They will understand that they are okay. They are resilient. They will reach an age where they will understand why it all happened. They will realize that mom did her best and that’s all she could do. Don’t let your child look back and all they remember is you complaining about how hard it is to be a single mom. They’ll feel guilty, they’ll feel like it was their fault, they’ll feel hatred. And guess what? All of the negative feelings, will be your fault, not the sperm donor’s fault. I understand your anger but please just stop.

Have some self respect.