Category Archives: heartbreak

You’re A Person Too

Standard

As we all know, there has been a LOT going on in the United States in the past few months and in the past couple of weeks. Before any of you start going off about how “these things happen in other countries every second of every day”, please realize that I care about all of these events. I feel for all of the people who have suffered, in all countries. However, right now, I’m focusing on the events here. I refuse to feel guilty about caring for the people in my own country.

Officers dying, innocent black people dying, protesters, mass shootings, PEOPLE dying. People. There is a rage flooding this country that has been rumbling for far too long and it’s getting out of hand. This hate needs to just stop, when will it stop? It is not enough to not be racist. That is no longer effective, action needs to be taken. Change needs to happen. I stand for every race, every ethnicity, all cultures. I don’t, however, stand for violence or ignorance or hatred. I don’t stand for the dummies that say all lives matter, we friggin’ know that all lives matter, the fact that we even need to say that out loud is sad. The thing is, people preach that all lives matter, however, not ALL LIVES ARE BEING TREATED EQUALLY. Can’t anyone understand this? Black Lives Matter’s purpose is to show this country that black lives aren’t being treated justly, they’re not being treated like “all” lives matter. That is the issue at hand. Innocent members of the black community being murdered.Not just by police officers, mind you. Then we have the audacity to be upset when there is friction, protesters, and acts of violence reciprocated.

Imagine always having to walk on eggshells because you don’t know how someone is going to react to you. Not someone, but a somewholeentirecommunityofwhitepeople. Of course, there is bad and good in all communities. The man who shot all of those police officers completely threw all and any progress of peaceful protesters to the wind. Understand this. Understand that it was a peaceful protest that some idiot with a gun decided to take into his own hands. One step forward, four steps back. Blue lives matter too, but that does not dismiss the fact that they are a representation of each other and some of them decided to MURDER innocent individuals in the name of white privilege. If you think white privilege isn’t a “thing”, please go into any Wal Mart or Target and use the self check out….Do they hover? No? Do they check your receipt? No? Hmmm….Funny. That shit is real. The problem is we want life to be so FeeFee LaLa we can’t get our heads out of our asses long enough to take a good hard look. I have good friends who are officers, and they are goodhearted  officers who do right by their community and I am so happy to be able to say that. I have good friends of color and they are goodhearted people who do right by their community and I am so happy to be able to say that. I have good friends who are white and they are goodhearted people who do right by their community and I am so happy to be able to say that. This is a small percentage of a very, very big country.

It is frightening how far backwards this country has leaped, so far backwards. It’s scary. How am I to raise a child in this? How? Should I rely on the fact that we look white? Should I bank on that? I come from immigrants. I’m not talking the regular “oh my great great great great great greeeeeat grandparents came here from England” story most people like to recount. I’m talking my mother isn’t a citizen here, legal, but not a citizen. My father became a citizen in his thirties. My second language is English. We are minorities. So the fact that there are people out there who hate anyone not “from here” scares me. It’s sheer ignorance. We can’t even call this a civilized country anymore, it’s going to shit. We don’t have the right to say that we are civilized. Animals treat each other with more respect.

I want all of you who disagree, to say this with me…Slowly now, don’t hurt yourselves…

Human 

Beings

Shouldn’t

Have

To

Fight

To

Be 

Treated

Like

Human

Beings

Actually, try that a few times.

I heard something the other day that was so true, I had to sit and think about it for a while. I had to let it sink in. “There isn’t more violence, there are just more cameras”. There isn’t more violence. There are just more cameras. People have been suffering for YEARS, undetected, unseen, unheard, out of mind. The black community is now taking a stand because enough is enough. This was bound to happen, people were bound to get fed up. It’s only going to get worse, much worse, before it ever gets better. What saddens me is that this is even still an issue. 2016…Forward thinkers….Innovators….Movers… Shakers…Yet, we still see all of this happening.

The land of the free?

Free, for who?

 

 

Unrequited Love

Standard

I saw this interesting video today about unrequited love;it was meant to be funny, and it was. But then I got to thinking. Most of the time when one thinks of unrequited love, we think of a one sided love that the other side is not aware of. Maybe you’re in love with your best friend and they aren’t aware of it, or you have a crush on someone who might have a crush on you back but you’re too scared to admit to this, leaving the two of you in a permanent “friend zone” vortex. These are common scenarios, but I realized that this is true for a lot of different situations. What’s worse? A love in which the other person isn’t aware of, leaving you to wonder for the rest of your life “what if”? Or…Loving someone who is fully aware of your love for them, and they neither throw you away nor keep you. You’re just there.

See, I know many who are in relationships where the love is 100% one sided, yet that person won’t leave. They’re treated as if there are a hundred million things that other person would rather be doing than stand in the same room as them let alone be in a relationship with them. Yet, there they are, Facebook official. All smiley and shit on their feed pictures but miserable behind the screen. There’s a particular couple I know who comes to mind and every time I think about it I feel so angry and sad that she is allowing this to happen to her. He was seemingly great at first and then his attitude changed and she was left wondering what happened. She would vent about how he didn’t care about her, how he chose his friends over her, how he was a cheater, etc. She would ask why he didn’t just leave, why lead her on? Why cheat? Why waste her time? I had to keep explaining to her that a love that is not reciprocated, is not a love worth having. That there are other people out there. She shouldn’t let herself get pushed around or used in such a way.

It’s such a childish thing to me, to be in a relationship you’re not happy in (unless there’s mental illness or emotional disease involved then I understand to a degree). These selfish people always wait until the other person is at the very end of their rope, ready to jump, to grow the balls to leave. Why hurt someone so purposefully? Why let someone feel that way, every second of every day, like life is just going to blow up in their face at any moment? I could never understand why people could have such a lack of self respect to let another treat them any less than they deserve.

We’re not all perfect, but no one deserves to have their time wasted or their heart toyed with. Maybe my mind is just not wise enough to grasp the concept that not everyone has the ability to be honest or to do good. That people really do get a kick out of messing with other people’s emotions. They’re completely capable of saying one thing and doing the opposite. They’re okay with lying to your face. They’re okay with watching you cry. They’re fine with witnessing the struggle in your eyes as you try to love them with every ounce of your being. Clawing at a relationship that will never evolve. Emptiness.

Have you ever searched for someone in a crowded room only to find out they were searching for you too, and there’s that moment of relief that you’ve found each other? Now imagine that same scenario, only that person is looking for someone else.

Unrequited Love. Tragic.