Monthly Archives: May 2016

My Village


I was dumb once. I believed that all I needed was myself, my ex, and our daughter. I truly believed that we would last forever and that no one else was needed to make our live’s what we wanted it to be. No one else was needed to teach her, help her grow, and to fill her life with amazing memories.

Just us.

When I left Robert, I still believed that I could do it all by myself. Then…I pulled my head out of my ass. I grew up. I’m less stupid now, not completely void of stupidity, but definitely less stupid. I need my family, I need my friends, I need support. I don’t care what anyone else says, you need a village. A child needs a village. In a world filled with negativity and bad people, I want to surround my child with as many positive people and positive forces as possible.

I’ve always been thankful for those who have been there for me. When Victoria first started school, my grandmother volunteered to watch her for me after school and so did my Aunt. I appreciated this help so much, every day, I don’t know what I would have done without them. My grandmother is older now and is no longer able to help me with Victoria after her first year of school, which is absolutely understandable. Life happens. An old friend of mine chose to help me, and until this day, still watches Victoria for me while I’m at work. I cannot say thank you enough to her for how much she has helped me not only watch Victoria in the most basic sense of the word, but she’s also helped me raise Victoria. She’s helped me teach Victoria how to remain a good person, how to love unconditionally and care for others, which is what most parents strive to do for their children. It’s difficult in a world of outside influences from school, but it sure does help when the babysitter helps you bring your child back from LA LA land day to day.

My mother has helped immensely. We don’t get along that well but she is always willing to help me. She picks up Victoria when needed, drops her off, has given us a place to stay in our time of need, and has shown Victoria nothing but love. Really, she’s a great grandmother and Victoria loves her to death. My father is also a big part of my village. Just recently it was Father’s Field Day at Victoria’s school, of course her “dad” couldn’t attend and my dad gladly volunteered. They had such a blast together! He’s always willing to help me in any way that he can, I’m thankful for both of these people. We live in a time when we expect parents to always help their children when they’re in need, but the reality is they don’t have to.

My friends have been there to help me emotionally during these transitions in my life and I can’t thank them enough as well. Sometimes I just want to throw in the towel and they’re there to tell me that I’m being a dummy. That I’m stronger than I think and that if not for me, than for Victoria. Sometimes, even if we know it already, we just need to hear it. They’re there to take me away when I need some me time, they’re there to group text and make me laugh, they’re just there. Not everyone can say they have friends like that.

My sisters help me too, and as much as they gripe about it they do help. Whether it’s helping Victoria with homework, teaching her the art of sarcasm (not such a big fan of this one), keeping her entertained while I wind down, or picking her up from school. Thank you M G, I really do appreciate you guys.

This is my village, and it includes so many other people. I need this village. I cannot live without this village. I cannot give Victoria the quality of life that she deserves without this village. She will never feel left out or feel like something is missing with the combined strength that we all have to offer. Family means more than blood and I’m so happy to say that Victoria has a HUGE family and an even bigger support system. Both of us do.