Monthly Archives: February 2016

Broken

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As I lay before you, legs spread wide

I notice your eyes scale down my sides

I used to be ashamed of these lines

These Marks

Proof of what I have stomached

And for that, I will not apologize.

 

As we argue, angry words exchanged

I can’t help but fear what’s ahead

The attitude spilling from within

This lack of remorse for what is being said

Only to protect myself

And for that, I will not apologize.

 

As I’m swallowed by my past

Consumed by my insecurity

I can’t put into words

The reasons for my immaturity

There is an explanation

But for that, I will not apologize.

 

You see, it’s always been difficult

For me to open my soul

I mean, beyond all things physical

I realize I’m hard to love

I’m broken

And for that, I will not apologize.

 

Despite of all these things

Regardless of my strong will

Even when my self loathing stings

You love me still

Others don’t understand

And for that, I will not apologize.

 

 

Please keep in mind that this is the first “poem” I’ve written since I was 13 or so. I don’t follow “rules”, I don’t put much thought into it, I just write. Like the rest of my blog, this just kind of came out and I chose to go with it.

 

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20 Things That I Don’t Like In No Particular Order

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  1. Selfish people
  2. People who post quotes on Facebook to make others believe they’re Ghandi
  3. These same people doing the exact opposite of said quotes
  4. Judgmental people
  5. Liars
  6. People who take advantage of others, especially emotionally
  7. Gross, dirty sponges
  8. People who place the trash bin on the counter just to change the bag
  9. People who tell me how to parent
  10. Teenagers
  11. Attention whores
  12. Ugly attention whores
  13. People who are self absorbed
  14. Entitled people
  15. People
  16. Having my ears touched
  17. Oprah
  18. Clothes
  19. People who take you for granted
  20. Unnoticed efforts

Self Destruction

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Why are people so self destructive? I don’t mean physically, really, I mean mentally. We often times are the creators of our own drama. So much is created inside of our heads, mostly because we care too much about others and we dwell too much on situations. Every day I come across conversations, people venting about their lives and situations. Too often do I hear women go on and on about a million ways their significant other is probably cheating on them. Too often do hear people talk about how horrible their lives are and how much better things would be if this or that just happened.

I’m guilty of this. My life would be easier if I won the lottery. My life would be easier if my ex would just drop dead. My life would be easier if people would just stop being assholes.

We sit here and are so inside of our heads, we just go on and on until we’ve driven ourselves crazy. Why do we do this? The world is crazy enough without us having to augment issues in our minds. Your boyfriend is cheating on you? Maybe? No? Perhaps? You will find out when the times comes, and if that time ever does come, then worry. Don’t just worry, leave the piece of shit. If you feel your life is so horrible, please take a moment and figure out what you can do to make it better. Now, as I’m typing this I’m figuring out ways to do this myself because I have a lot of improvements to make personally. I’m very self aware. I’m not going to give you the same advice everyone else does because it’s all shit.

“Your life is tough but think of Syria”.

“Your life is tough but think of Africa”.

“Your life is tough but think of the Holocaust”.

Shut the hell up.

Yes, there are many things that occur and have occurred in the world much worse than going bankrupt, losing your car, divorce, your children hating you and so on. Sure. That doesn’t make these problems any less real to YOU. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still be upset about your situation. That DOES mean you should be proactive, because you do have control over your life. You have control of who you surround yourself with. You have control over who you let affect your emotions, your well being, YOUR SANITY. Don’t let situations make you feel like your LIFE is a mess, don’t let people have the power to hurt you. Especially selfish people, because they don’t care about you. Hell, they don’t even think about you because they’re so busy thinking about themselves.

I can feel my sanity slipping because of these people, why have I allowed this?

Why have you allowed this?