I’ve decided that today is the day.
I will no longer be giving unsolicited advice, I will no longer put in my “2-cents”. I will listen and shut my fucking mouth. My biggest flaw is that I offer up advice without people asking me for it and I offer my opinion to people who are venting to me. For some insane reason, I assumed that if you are venting to me it’s because you’d like to hear my thoughts which is dumb because I don’t always want to hear other’s thoughts when I’m venting. Is there a special class that I can take at some dingy junior college that will teach me how to shut the hell up? If so, please place the details in the comments below. In reality, it isn’t my business. You are venting to me to vent, that’s it. When I vent to someone, I don’t always want their point of view, but I make it very clear that I don’t. I think what irritates me is when I give advice or my opinion and that person discards it or disagrees, only to turn around a week later and say they had an epiphany. What might this epiphany be you ask? Oh, only the same shit I said a week prior! Only they came up with it on their own, or they had a deep conversation with someone else who is so wise and in tune with the universe that they offered up THE SAME GOD DAMN ADVICE. Oh no, but I’m stupid and young and inexperienced. There’s no way I know what the hell I’m talking about, you know, because I’m stupid. I am stupid. Stupid for opening my damn mouth. So, from now on, I’m going to keep it shut. Instead of blabbing useless advice, I’m going to blog when I’m irritated or when I need to yap.
This, by no means, means I don’t want people to vent to me. I really do love being a shoulder to cry on or the “go to” person, because that means that person trusts me. However, I’ve made this stupid mistake over and over again and it only ends up hurting my own feelings or making me feel inadequate. Maybe I’m just broken. I’ve been mulling over that idea for weeks now. Like maybe I’m just not functioning correctly, maybe it’s supposed to be a part of everyone’s internal common sense to shut up unless asked and I just didn’t pick that up when I was born. I left it behind and there was no one to call to retrieve it, that darn common sense.
I really don’t even know where to start. If someone is venting and I’m quietly listening, suddenly it’s, “well you don’t want to hear about my problems” or “are you even paying attention?” or “never mind, just forget it”. If I start to give my opinion, I’m ignored, talked over, or told that I don’t know what I’m talking about. So maybe listening quietly and agreeing with everything that person is saying is where I should start.
“Yes, absolutely, dump him. He totally shouldn’t have eaten your last pot sticker, the bastard.”
“He told you the grass wasn’t greener on the other side? What the hell does he know? He was raised in the desert for heaven’s sake, you’re right!”
“Uh huh, yep, *grunt*”