I’ve decided to start a project. I made a fake profile to test my theories on men and how damn ridiculous they are (women can be too, but of course, I don’t date those). I know this seems a little pathetic and unorthodox but let me just reassure all of you that my conversations with each person during this project lasted no longer than a day or so. I made sure of this so that no one’s feelings were compromised.
Her name is Amy. Her profile states that she likes hiking, softball, and long walks on the beach (oh you know I had to). She has beautiful, big, blue eyes, brown hair, she’s thin, and her family is from the Ukraine. Amy is a bartender as well as a front desk agent and she has a bachelor’s degree in who knows what, but who cares because not a single one of them asked. Amy has no children, no pets, and she’s oh so close to her cousin. Oh, I failed to mention, Amy only likes chubbier men and it is clearly stated on her profile.
Before you begin to comment on how horrible I am for such trickery, please understand my intentions. The sole purpose for this project was to see how men react to bigger women as opposed to how they react to thinner women via dating sites (which reflects how they behave in real life). To make things interesting, Amy is a woman who doesn’t talk much but is brutally honest. I compared the activity on Amy’s page to my own page for three whole days. Of course, I kept in mind that everyone has their preferences and no all men like bigger women just like not all men like smaller women.
The moment Amy popped onto this dating website she received 45 messages within the first 20 minutes. Over a 3 day period she probably received at least 100 messages each day. The correspondence normally started out pretty standard – Hi, how are you? You’re hot. So beautiful. My name is so-and-so. – and so on.
As I sifted through the messages I began to see a lot of the following:
You really like big guys? That’s hard to fathom.
You’re the most interesting person on here for that very fact.
How can someone like you like a bigger guy? I mean come on…You’re gorgeous.
Hiking? Well fat people don’t hike, maybe you should find someone who’s fit like I am so that I can help you if you fall during your hike.
My response always followed along the lines of “we all have our preferences, and that is my preference. You wouldn’t date a bigger girl right?”.
Which would be followed with:
No, I suppose you’re right, I definitely would never date a bigger girl.
Well, that’s not the point, you’re not fat are you? Exactly.
Come on, just give me a chance, you know a fat man isn’t right for you.
Then I’d get the defensive:
EXCUSE ME?! MY MEEMAW IS A BIG LADY I DO NOT DESCRIMINATE!
I refuse to let you think I’m shallow, I dated a big girl once.
My sister is big, okay?
My personal profile, on the other hand, will receive maybe 6 messages a day which is perfect for me. I felt Amy’s activity was a little too overwhelming for my liking. Introductory messages were also about the same for me as they were for her. The conversations ran a little deeper but would die off after a day or so. On this particular site, it informs you if others have looked at your profile and I began to notice that the men who messaged Amy, also looked on my profile but passed me up as I am not up to par. I made sure that Amy and I were from the same area so that we would interact with the same mix of men. I then began to notice that some of the men who were messaging Amy were also messaging me, but in completely different ways.
Amy’s Profile (Prospect A)
Hey, how are you gorgeous?
Oh come on, I’d really like to get to know you.
Give me a chance.
Let’s go to Disneyland (not kidding).
My Profile (Prospect A)
Hey, how are you beautiful?
I guess I’m not your type. You really shouldn’t have standards you know.
Amy’s Profile (Prospect B)
Hey gorgeous, how are you sweetheart? (elch)
I’m doing fine, thanks, and yourself?
I’m great, wow you’re just so amazingly beautiful I can’t believe it. Please let me go out with you. I’ll gain 20 lbs come on seriously. I’m eating a cheeseburger right now, no lie.
Yeah, sorry you’re definitely not my type.
Oh come on that’s ridiculous, I work out every single day!
Hey, seriously, what will it take?
My Profile (Prospect B)
Hey how are you ?
I’m doing fine, thanks, and yourself?
I’m good, not really looking for a relationship you know. Just looking for friends. What do you do for fun?
Okay well bye.
I found that the men on Amy’s page tried much harder to gain her respect or to even gain a response. There were times when Amy would respond rudely to the comments about dating bigger men and the men would apologize and ask for another chance. Amy even got into an argument with one prospect because he just couldn’t seem to wrap his empty head around the fact that she prefers larger, lovable, men. He refused to accept it, began telling her how ignorant she was and what a waste of a cute body she was.
Besides these results being comical, they’re extremely sad. It was a heart wrenching experience, witnessing people body shaming over someone’s preference.
You have no idea where someone has been or where they’re headed. You might be talking to a woman who was much bigger and is on her journey to being smaller. You might be talking to someone with health issues and who find it difficult to lose weight. You might be talking to someone who just lost a loved one and has fallen into a deep deep depression. You might even be talking to someone who might be able to out-hike you. She might be more confident than any woman you’ve ever met.
If she’s too thin, you have no idea if she has issues gaining weight. She might like being that thin, she might eat like a horse, she might be the most out of shape human being you’ve ever encountered. She might be muscular and insecure.
Most of the profiles had headlines like “Women are cruel” “Nice guys finish last” “Sweet man with a big heart” “Are there any good ones left?”. What they mean is “I’m shallow and all the Hooters girls I date don’t like me” “Are there any good THIN women left” “Why don’t the gym junkies like me?!” “Man with a big ego here”.
Needless to say Amy is long gone but still kept in the minds of those online dummies.
Everyone has their flaws, always keep this in mind.