Vince was Sicilian, handsome, well built, and charming. This is the most recent dating experience I’ve had, and the most comical. We had never met but even through text he kept me interested. We decided to talk over the phone one night and had a 3 hour conversation. Those of you who know me know that I absolutely despise talking on the phone, even though my job requires this of me every single day. We talked about everything, our pasts, our future, what we were currently doing and why we were single. He kept up with my out of this world sense of humor and respected the fact that I had a daughter and I wouldn’t be able to actually meet up with him for at least a couple of weeks.
At 2:00 am we decided that sleeping would probably be a good idea especially since he had to be up at 4:00 am so we said good night and hung up. Suddenly, I had this annoying feeling in the pit of my stomach. Something wasn’t right about him, there were too many empty spaces in his timeline and he was far too eager to meet me. Surely, I can’t be that intriguing.
I decided to investigate, as any woman would and should. I had asked for his last name during our conversation and the dummy actually gave it to me, red flag #1. He spoke about his father’s troubled past and his own troubled past but wouldn’t go into detail over the phone, red flag #2. He was married for 2 months and his wife decided to leave him because she’s an “entitled brat”, red flag #3. I looked him up on Facebook and saw a display that was a picture of him, a woman, and a beautiful little blonde child.
Hmmm, these can’t be current. Men are horrible at updating their profiles, September? We’re in September. She’s tagged in these pictures, let me see what’s on her profile. Women are much better at this. Similar picture.
At 2:10 am I realized that I seem like a horrible stalker but had every right to be. This man has a family, a child, a beautiful girlfriend or wife. What is he thinking?! So what do I do? I add her. I figured I’d make him sweat a little if he sees the new addition to her friend’s list on his feed.
I went to bed and when I woke up I received a good morning text from Mr. Good Ol’ Vincenzo. I immediately asked him how he could do something so horrendous to his family and why he would lie. Do you know what this sorry excuse for scum said to me? He’s just not interested in her anymore. He just can’t stand how dependent she is and they’ve only been together since May. He never expected to run into someone as amazing as I am *barf* and how the child isn’t even his anyway. If he did this to her why on God’s green earth wouldn’t he do that to me? My vagina isn’t golden people! I decided to lecture him and tell him to piss off. He apologized over and over again and hoped that we could, at the very least, still be friends. This coward was going to just move onto the next woman who gave him a second glance instead of breaking things off with someone he’s obviously not in love with.
When I get to work I receive a phone call from a number I don’t recognize, I never answer these calls, but something told me to answer. Well I’ll be DAMNED if it isn’t his girlfriend. Well hellloooo there! Yes, I am the woman who almost, potentially, could have turned out to be your home wrecker. Yes, I know Vince. Yes we were texting last night. Oh he was on your couch? Well did he go home afterwards? Oh, I only ask because we spoke for 3 hours last night. Yes, I found out he has a girlfriend and I confronted him this morning. He says he’s over you. He says you’re too dependent. Oh you drove him home last night? Wait….He doesn’t have a car? Ew. Well I’m sorry, I’ve only known him for a few days. You met him online too? Aint that a bitch. Good luck, I hope he realizes what an idiot he is. It’s okay, it’s only been a few months, you can’t possibly be that attached. Oh yes, I saw the family photos. Okay, well I need to get back to work now. Again, good luck. *click*
I text Vince to tell him that his girlfriend now knows and he’s a dummy; to my relief the manboy never text me back again. Days later I decide to check on his profile, yep family photos still up. I decide to check on hers, and the bitch deleted me from Facebook! I really thought we bonded over this experience, I thought we’d be total besties! Guess who’s still madly in love with Mr. Wanabe Sicilian Vincenzo? Yep! Still together. Women…Then you ask why men treat you like shit! You ask why you’re never respected or why your significant other just can’t get his shit together. Shit like this grinds my gears but alas…It’s no longer my business.
Boy did I dodge a bullet.